Never on the honor roll
But I think that I should mention
I would have a Master's now
If they gave it in detention
Shot spit wads 'til I turned blue
And flew paper airplanes, too
My chemistry experiment
Blew up the whole school by accident

Every teacher knows my name
They hear it and go insane
I brought prayer back to class
'Cause all my teachers prayed that I would pass

At the mention of my name
Teachers twitch and some start drooling
A diploma was my aim
But I even flunked home schooling
Put a frog down one girl's back
My momma got notes by the stack
All of my teacher's got combat pay
Every hour, every day

Every teacher knows my name
They hear it and go insane
So many swats that I couldn't keep score
That's what I grew all this padding for

Every teacher knows my name
They hear it and go insane
I brought prayer back to class
'Cause all my teachers prayed that I would pass

Yeah sure, maybe I drove them mad
And was the worst student they ever had
But they are getting their just desserts
I talk about them at my concerts!

Every teacher knows my name
They hear it and go insane
I can recall all those words that they spoke,
'Mark, your life's gonna be a joke!'

Every teacher knows my name
They hear it and go insane
So many swats that I couldn't keep score
That's what I grew all this padding for

Every teacher knows my name
They hear it and go insane
I brought prayer back to class
'Cause all my teachers prayed that I would pass