Remember the girl with the bee-hive hairdo, stung by a spider in the rat-nest igloo'
Hook man leaving his hook on the door after giving that girlfriend's guy what for,
Someone put a rat in the deep fry,
Madman on the phone in the upstairs bedroom,
Alligators down in the sewer lines,
I had a tough time believing all that.

'Til I picked up the vanishing hitchhiker,
Picked up the vanishing hitchhiker,
He was an angel, (the vanishing hitchhiker)
I heard him say, "Stop telling lies," then he went away.

Remember the dog in the microwave oven'
It was turned to high, now there's nothing left of him,
There's a hatchet killer hiding in your back seat, ma'am,
And a rat-tail floating in your Coca Cola can,
At midnight stood a stranger on the highway,
Somewhere there abouts, I think, in Corpus Christi,
He smiled and said that he was going my way,
No, I couldn't say that I believed in all that.

'Til I picked up the vanishing hitchhiker,
Picked up the vanishing hitchhiker,
He was an angel, (the vanishing hitchhiker)
I heard him say, "Stop telling lies," then he went away.

I get my info from the backward masking,
I get the word of God through the prayer and fasting,
J.F.K. is alive and well and Kissenger is a beast from hell,
The face of St. Paul in this pot-roast assures me that I'm going up to Heaven,
The antichrist does laundry on the east coast,
I doubted the most, did not believe in all that.

'Til I picked up the vanishing hitchhiker,
Picked up the vanishing hitchhiker,
He was an angel, (the vanishing hitchhiker)
I heard him say, "Stop telling lies," then he went away.

The vanishing hitchhiker,
The vanishing hitchhiker,
He was an angel, (the vanishing hitchhiker)
I heard him say, "Stop telling lies," then he went away.