Hey, hey, hey.

Oh, my girl loves surprises, so I bought a pair of tickets and we went to see the greatest show on earth, where everybody comes to have a really good time underneath the big top,
Oh, she seemed so delighted with the lions and the tigers, and the men on the flying trapeze,
Oh, but when the clowns come around, she clinches her fists, she looks as if she's catching a disease.

Baby hates clowns and the tricks they do,
Baby hates clowns in their great big shoes,
Baby hates clowns with their polka dot clothes,
Baby hates clowns with their big red nose,
Now I get a little nervous every time that the circus comes to town,
I don't know why baby hates clowns.

Hey, hey, hey.

Well, I gingerly suggested she was over-caffeinated, or perhaps she had a simple case of nerves,
She said, as she glared at me with eyes like knives, "You gotta a lot to learn, boy,"
So, I quick dropped the subject like a flaming hot potato, but it didn't bring her any relief,
Oh, and it's so hard to pretend everything is just swell when she's muttering and grinding her teeth.

Baby hates clowns with their stubby cigars,
Baby hates clowns in their little toy cars,
Baby hates clowns when they tumble and they flip,
Baby hates clowns with their painted on lips,
Now it's no exaggeration and there's not an explanation I have found,
I don't know why baby hates clowns.

She gets so traumatized, and I feel paralysed,
In the midst of her psycho drama, I don't know what to do,
It's such a mystery: all this hostility,
I tell her she should lighten up, but all she does is tighten up and come unglued.
It's so unsettling.

My girl loves surprises but I never realised she was vexed with a complicated mind, And I'm not sure whether it's a colourful quirk or some flavour of dementia,
How I wish I could say there was a moral to the story, something cute about venting her angst,
Oh, but let the truth be known: I'm in the twilight zone,
Some guy dressed up like bozo gets the thanks.

Baby hates clowns; it's truly bizarre,
Baby hates clowns; it's the way they are,
Baby hates clowns; man, it's making me nuts,
Baby hates clowns, she hates their guts,
Now I get a little nervous every time that the circus...
I get a little nervous every time that the circus...
Get a little nervous every time the circus comes to town,
Oh, I don't know why baby hates clowns, hey.

Hey, hey, hey,
Hey, hey, hey, yeah.

She can't stand them.