If I were president, one of the elect,
If I were president, politically correct,
If I were president, it's a squeaky clean campaign,
If I were president, sound bite with no pain,
I'd be your representative, ACLU or the mob,
You need a leader and I need a job.

And if I...if I were president.

Come on.

(If I were president) Your vote, you won't regret,
(If I were president) I'd owe you a national debt,
(If I were president) No hunger and no disease,
(If I were president) Hey, I got government cheese,
Don't need no foreign policy,
No starving, third-world faces on the late, late show,
I'm proud to say, "America is the only world I know."

And if I...oh, I were president.
Yeah, if I...oh, I were president.

Pay no attention to that man up on the mountain,
Don't you know his work will never be done'
Take off all your possessions and throw them in the fire,
Melt it down, turn around and, hey, here I come.

(If I were president) With my good looks on TV,
(If I were president) I'd stimulate the economy,
(If I...) There would be no big debate,
(If I were president) One big United State.

If I...oh, if I were president,
Yes, if I...oh, I were president,
I said if I...oh, I, Lord, if I...if I were president.

Come on, (if I were president)
Come on,
If I were president, (if I were president)
Alright, (if I were president)
You need a leader, (if I were president)
I've got what you want, (if I were president)
I got what you need, (if I were president)
(etc, fade)