Welcome dear listener, are you comfortable'
Put your feet up, close your eyes, let your senses dull,
Float like a beach-ball, wearing cordless phones,
Let the tide take you, groove to the mellow tones,
Groovy.

Who switched the intro'...ah, but I digress,
Do you ever get that feeling you're not so fresh'
Do you hang out nights at the launderette, dreaming of a cure for stubborn stains'
Wanna climb in to the big machine'
Wonder how it feels getting really clean'

I know you know more than what you're coming clean for,
God is skin on mohair; just admit you itch there.

Shift to the left, shift to the right,
Fidget, lock knees,
Cough, cough, fidget,
Don't scratch, don't break out in a sweat,
Are we feeling comfortable yet'

I know you know more than what you're coming clean for,
God is skin on mohair; just admit you itch there.

Ever sweat bullets at the sight of blood'
Ever drag a half-ton cross through spit and mud'
Wouldn't wanna plan too far ahead,
Wouldn't wanna dwell on what's beyond,
Pondering death is a dirty biz: makes you wonder when your appointment is.

Shift to the left, shift to the right,
Fidget, lock knees,
Cough, cough, fidget,
Don't scratch, don't break out in a sweat.
Are we feeling comfortable yet'
Loosen your tie, loosen your belt,
Clear your throat, fidget,
Cough, cough, fidget,
Don't scratch, don't break out in a sweat,
Are we feeling comfortable yet'
Fidget to the left, fidget to the right,
Lock knees, fidget,
Cough, cough, fidget,
Don't scratch, don't break out in a sweat,
Are we feeling comfortable yet'