I fell asleep with my clothes on
Dropped my keys on the front lawn
Waking up I watch the drool a-gleaming
from my mouth to the carpet it is streaming

Chorus:
Giving up, it never felt so good
welcome to plan B
Giving up, what is the likelihood
life could be so free'

I'll eat some moldy bread
then I'm going back to bed
I know how this day will crescendo
I'll fall asleep while I play Nintendo

Up to now in my life I have failed
all I've tried, it's too hard
I think I've found my calling now
laying down, in the yard
Don't you cry Momma, don't you even weep
'cause you know your son excels at sleep.