Jesus, I love you, but don't understand your wife,
She wears such funny make-up, and she always wants to fight,
Every time I turn my back she's waiting with the knife,
In my world of black and grey she argues shades of white.

Jesus, I love you, but I don't understand your wife,
She wears such funny make-up, and she always wants to fight,
Jesus, I love you, but I don't understand your wife,
She wears such funny make-up, and she always wants to fight.

She loves capital punishment, and nuclear arms,
Then screams about the right to life and the Grand Old Party's charms,
She's always burning bridges, even ones she's standing on,
When I tried to tell her, she says, "With you, I don't belong."

Jesus, I love you, but I don't understand your wife,
She wears such funny make-up, and she always wants to fight,
Jesus, I love you, but I don't understand your wife,
She wears such funny make-up, and she always wants to fight.

You always hear me complain, and you listen in once more,
I know everything your bride's against, but I don't know what she's for,
So, don't mistake my anger for bitterness and strife,
'Cause on bended knees I'm begging you, "Please, Jesus, talk to your wife."

Jesus, I love you, but don't understand your wife,
She wears such funny make-up, and she always wants to fight,
Every time I turn my back she's waiting with the knife,
In my world of black and grey she argues shades of white.

Jesus, I love you, but don't understand your wife,
She wears such funny make-up, and she always wants to fight,
Don't mistake my anger for bitterness and strife,
'Cause on bended knees I'm begging you, "Please, oh Jesus, talk to your wife."

One more time...

Jesus, I love you, and I don't understand your wife,
When she hears a funny song, it's letters she starts to write,
I'll go to my mailbox, and I'll end up in a fight,
Just because some other guy doesn't know how to take a joke.

Jesus, I love you, but don't understand your wife,
She wears such funny make-up, she always wants to fight,
Every time I turn my back she's waiting with a knife,
Jesus, I love you, but please, please talk to your wife.