Don't be scared, it's for a good cause,
Put your hand out and try to act calm,
I can still feel those hairy, little fingers pluck a nickel from my sweaty, little palm.

He scratched me.

Collar goes tight,
Fat man's cranking, and the monkey's reeled in,
Don't he look a little blue'

Who knows factually a monkey's life span'
This is not your ordinary hurdy-gurdy man,
All you higher primates sweating to keep the company strong, have you heard the song of the monkey grinder'

Don't you worry, this monkey's lucky,
Got himself a good job and a nice boss, who's gonna keep him happy from the cradle to the grave.

And someday, son...

And the little collar goes tight,
And the fat man's cranking, and the monkey's reeled in,
This machine is humming.

Who knows factually a monkey's life span'
This is not your ordinary hurdy-gurdy man,
All you higher primates sweating to keep the company strong, have you heard the song of the monkey grinder'

I can't find my little lost dog, and the neighbours say theirs disappeared last week,
And there's a rumour going 'round 'bout a big, long boa...and I hear it's living under the fat man's porch,
Some say it's insatiable, some say it just unhooks its jaws, and then it swallows most anything it wants, even a full grown fat man.

Who knows factually a monkey's life span'
This is not your ordinary hurdy-gurdy man,
All you higher primates sweating to keep the company strong, have you heard the song of the monkey grinder'

Well,
Who knows'
Who knows factually'
Factually,
A monkey's life span,
Knows factually,
Monkey's life span,
This is not your ordinary hurdy-gurdy man,
No, no...